Good Advice, Bad Advice, and the Cost of Listening

Most advice is given with good intentions.

That does not make it good.

Advice is not neutral.

It carries the worldview of the person offering it,

along with their fears, incentives, and unfinished business.

Over a long career, you collect a lot of it. Some of it helps you stand straighter.

Some of it quietly bends you out of shape.

It took me years to tell the difference.

The best advice I ever received was simple. Almost disappointing in its lack of drama.

Learn the work so well you do not need permission to trust yourself.

It did not come with tactics.

It did not promise speed.

It did not point to shortcuts.

It pointed inward.

It forced me to stop borrowing confidence from titles, firms, or systems that were never designed to hold it for me.

It made learning my responsibility.

Judgment my burden.

Consequences mine to carry.

That advice still works because it does not expire. It does not depend on trends or approval. It trains the one muscle that never goes out of style.

Discernment.

The worst advice I believed was also simple. And far more popular.

Just keep your head down. It will pay off.

This advice is often delivered as wisdom.

It sounds patient.

Responsible.

Mature.

What it really teaches is quiet compliance.

It assumes the system rewards clarity and care. It assumes time alone corrects misalignment. It asks you to trade your judgment for survival and call it strategy.

I followed that advice longer than I should have.

It did not ruin me.

It delayed me.

It taught me to confuse endurance with progress.

To mistake tolerance for professionalism.

To wait for recognition instead of alignment.

By the time I realized the cost, I had built things that worked but did not fit.

Roles that looked right and felt wrong. Success that required self-negotiation.

The difference between good advice and bad advice is not the intention.

It is the direction.

Good advice sharpens your ability to see.

Bad advice teaches you to endure what you already know is off.

These days, I listen differently.

I ask one question before taking anything in.

Does this advice make me more present in the work?

Or more absent from myself?

Only one of those leads anywhere worth building.

Field Note:

Advice is a tool. Use it. Do not live inside it.